Negotiating isn't Fighting

Scott says…

Negotiating isn’t fighting. I really don’t like negotiating books and trainers that use the term adversary, opponent or even combatant as I read in one book recently. Many will even use military terms like battle, war and “shooting the other guy.” While the person or team on the other side of the table might be hostile, looking at the negotiation as a fight for “my needs” or as a battle is an equation for losing. You may win today, but you almost always loose in the long run.

I prefer Gerard I. Nierenberg’s style of looking at a negotiation as a collaboration. You can order his book The Art Of Negation in our bookstore. He says it is two parties trying to satisfy their needs in a way that benefits both parties. Once a negotiation turns adversarial emotions become involved and things get out of control. Should you feel that things have become adversarial, stop and try to understand why the other party is upset and why you are upset. Put yourself in their shoes and think how they would feel in the situation. Then try to correct it.

My favorite way to get things to simmer down is taking a break. I’ll make an excuse to leave the room and will go get a drink of water or pretend to talk on the phone. This gives me time to reflect on the discussions and to think about the other party. When I’ve collected my emotions I’ll go back to the table, often with my purpose and objectives clearly put back in my mind.

Many times I find that the other party is not frustrated with what is going on during the negotiation, but at something entirely unrelated. I had one negotiation get so out of control that both sides were calling each other names. We took a break and when I was walking out of the room the other team leader blew his nose and took a pill. I asked him if he had a cold and he said he should be in bed and that he’s had the flu for several days. I postponed the negotiation for a week and when he felt better, we closed the deal.

Don’t fight ‘em, delight ‘em. Be alert to anger and frustration as the break you take can save you money.

Give Me My Money

Scott says…

Lately I’ve been using a lot of my negotiating skills to get my money back. For some reason Marie and I are finding that we are being overcharged more, fined more, penalized more and just being plain old ripped off. I’m spending about 35% of my personal finance time just trying to get back what is owed me. Here are some key tips to help you get back what is due.

1. Keep watch over your accounts. Marie and I watch our bank statement closely and always question any charge that we don’t understand. Most of the time it is just a charge that one of the two of us made and didn’t bring the receipt back for the file. Other times it is an incorrect charge or a bank fee. Make sure you know where your money goes and question any charge, no matter how small. $5 per month in unknown fees is $60 per year!

2. Fight! We made a rule here at our household that no one takes money from us for goods or services we didn’t receive. I will go after any amount regardless of the size. When I opened up a new on-line money market account and made my first transfer, they executed the transfer twice by accident. Since it was for a large sum, it wiped out my bank checking account and caused it to bounce. I received a $50 fine from the checking account bank and another fine from the MMA for not having the funds, even though I did nothing wrong. I started with the bank first and spoke directly to the bank manager. After finally threatening to withdraw all my accounts immediately they reluctantly gave my $50 back. Then I began to argue with the MMA and did get my $50 credited after several phone calls and emails. My time to do this was well over the $100 that I was charged but it is important to let banks know that you won’t let them steal from you.

3. Make your utility companies explain their billing until you understand it. Recently we found out (when comparing bills with our neighbors) that our water bill was much higher than theirs. I examined the bills and they seemed logical but I didn’t understand everything. The water company was very nasty when I questioned them, but I held my ground. They said they would investigate but that they would charge me $50 to do so. I took the risk and agreed. We found out that our new water meter was defective and after a few more weeks of fighting got over $700 in refunds from the water company.

4. Don’t use credit cards. I’m finding that now that we’ve gotten rid of all our credit cards I don’t get accidentally billed all the time. There for about a year I got one incorrect charge each month on a credit card. Reoccurring fees that I didn’t authorize and “membership renewals” were the worst. Now that the cards are gone, life is much easier. If you still use cards, be sure to change your card numbers once a year.

Tenacity is the key to getting your money back. Use supporting documents, negotiate face to face when possible and document any promises and problems. Doing this helps your family save money!

View Our Guest Blog!

Scott says...

Hey, wow, Marie! I see you are guest blogging now. Check it out on the SAVING YOUR CENTS blog...

This is a great site and the lady that manages it is super! She is always so helpful and friendly. If you have not checked out her blog, I'd recommend that you do so today!

And The Academy Award For Saving Goes Too…

Scott says…

Marie and I walked away from the theater. It was our date night. Our daughter was at the special “Parent’s Night Out” at her school, we had some extra entertainment budget money left over in our Dave Ramsey Financial Peace envelope system, and we had four hours to ourselves. We enjoyed a fine Chinese meal without using a coupon, which is rare. Then we went to see a movie.

We had two coupons for a free movie. However, when we got there we were informed that we couldn’t use the coupons to see the money we wanted to see because it had not been in the theater long enough. Marie and I looked at the other movies and decided we really just didn’t want to pay full price ($12.00 each) to go to the movie. That would have totally blown the budget. So, we went and had coffee and conversation instead.

Honestly, I enjoyed chatting with my wife more than I would the movie. Really, we don’t sit down and just talk to each other much. Our daughter is always there or we’re working at something or other. Either way, $6.00 worth of coffee made for a very pleasant evening. Saving money is great for your relationship.

Marie Says...

I enjoyed it, too! (wink)

No Such Thing As A Free Lunch

Scott says...

I love to eat out. If it weren't for money I'd eat out every meal. You can look at me and tell that I like to eat out. That's why only Marie's picture is on the blog site. When we started looking at our budget I was absolutely shocked at how much I was spending on restaurants.

Marie told me that I had to stop so I began looking for a way to change my habits. One of the big problems is that I don’t like cold foods, especially sandwiches. The other problem I have is that I feel like I have to get out of the building once per day. This goes back to my factory days when I was trapped in the dark plant building for twelve hours at a time with no window to look out of.

The unknown problem that didn’t make itself apparent until later was that I really just hate making my lunch at night, especially when I’m the one that cleans up the kitchen after dinner. So, to help me, my sweet wife came up with the solution.

She would make me a good, healthy lunch each day that I could heat up in the microwave. This would make it very easy for me. Now all I had to do was figure out how to get out of the office. We do have a park at our office but no picnic tables. My solution is that I’ve started getting books on CD from the library and I sit in my car and listen to books while I eat my lunch. So far this works well when Marie remembers to make my lunch. If she forgets, then I have an assortment of soups in my desk.

Right now I’m saving somewhere around $230 per month!

Today's Negotiating Tip

Tactic: Negotiate With Cash

When you are negotiating (not haggling, which is tactical) be sure to PLAN to carry cash. There is something very magical about cash. The salesperson that sees you count the bills and move them back and forth in your hands will watch the movements very closely. I hold the cash loosely in my hands and even drop a bill for more affect. The whole time we are talking I keep asking "is that the best you can do for me?" Then I shut up. The silence is a killer and the salesperson will feel like they have to talk. Cash is still king. By paying cash you should expect at LEAST a 3-4% reduction in price just because it costs the store that much to process the credit card payment. I never use credit cards by the way, and don't even have one.

New Year's Resolution

Welcome to Rainy Day Finances, sponsored by Rainy Day Financial Group. I'm Marie Perry and I'll be your host as we help you and your family save money every day! My husband Scott and I have saved over $25,000 and reduced our debt by $38,000 in just the past year and a half. Over this time we've found new ways to cut costs and manage our budget better.

Since then we've committed ourselves to helping others that are victims of credit cards or the bad economy. Scott and I teach Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace University and provide counseling help to those in financial need.

Professionally I'm a tax preparer here in Georgia and have worked in the legal field for many years. Scott works for a large consumer products group and is a negotiator and cost cutter. We both teach classes on budgeting, coupon savings and negotiating for consumers. Together we are committed to helping YOU SAVE MONEY in 2009! Tht's our New Year's Resolution.

Today's Negotiating Tip:

It's a buyer's market out there so take advantage of it if you are able to. This means don't buy it on credit, but if you have cash and have planned (key word) the purchase, you can probably negotiate a great deal. Carry cash with you when you go and ask for the best deal possible. Remember to use the magic phrase "is that the best deal you can offer me?" and remain quiet for a period of time with the salesperson thinks about it. Everything is negotiable! Don't be afraid to walk away!

Look for more consumer negotiating tips as we blog away!